El Camino...: When Troubles Come, and My Heart Burdened Be...

El Camino...

Es largo y profundo, pero voy a caminar el camino...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

When Troubles Come, and My Heart Burdened Be...

This weekend has been one of great clarity and much prayer/talking to God. Once more, I feel like I had allowed my eyes to fall off of Jesus. Have you ever entered a time of stress or discontentment that builds and builds and builds? Because I feel like that is what I am finally coming out of. I didn't talk about my stress, didn't talk about my heart (realistically)... and it built up to something so much bigger than the real problem inside of my heart.

This week I finally told Tim that I needed a break. I needed to get away. So "away" we went. We stayed at a local Saskatoon hotel, checking in Friday night and getting a late Saturday afternoon checkout. Seriously, it was such a beautiful time... but let me back up to the beginning of my enlightenment...

Friday morning I had a LOT to do to prepare and get ready for this weekend. So, you can only imagine how impressed I was when my beautiful, beautiful Jeep betrayed me by not starting. While calling a tow truck, a shop and Tim (in tears that time) I cried a lot... angered I expressed my frustation to Jesus - "why Lord... I have so much to do, etc... etc..."As the day went on, and I got the initial situation taken care of, it turned out to be quite the blessing, because then I could work from home, think through some things calmly and get them done. (In hindsight, it's not quite the blessing, because I found out at 5PM that the bill is going to be almost $1200. YIKES. Anyway... stay focused.)

So, towards the afternoon, I started really processing through this funk I seem to have been in. I finally put in a worship CD by Selah. I used to listen to this CD and oh man... the songs really impacted me. I haven't listened to it in probably 2 or 3 years. But once more, the words and music absolutely spoke to my heart and led me to Jesus. It was ridiculous good. I've missed worshipping in this fashion... I used to do it all the time; put in a CD, open the Word. Those are some good times.

Two songs lyrics I was impacted by:

You Raise Me Up: "When I am down, and oh my sould so weary... when troubles come, and my when my heart burdened be. Then I am still, wait here in the silence, until you come and sit awhile with me. You raise me up so I can s tand on mountains, you raise me up to walk on stormy seas... I am strong when I am on your shoulders, you raise me up to more than I can be..."

"When I am think I'm going under, part the waters Lord, when I feel the waves around me calm the sea. When I cry for help oh hear me Lord and hold out your hand. Touch my life, still the raging storm in me. I need thee every hour, most Gracious Lord... I need thee oh I need thee... every hour I need thee, oh bless me now my Saviour, I come to thee... I need thee every hour, in joy or pain, come quickly and abide or life is vain... I need thee oh I need thee... every hour I need thee. Oh, bless me now my Saviour, I come to thee."

So. What is the moral of this story? The moral of this story is that I was reminded once more this weekend to constantly be placing my eyes on Jesus. It doesn't matter what personal stress, frustration, confusion we have... we gotta take it to him. I think I made a grave error in speaking with humans about my heart status in this last week. As I've prayed throughout this weekend, that fact has been very clear to me. I confused my need to vent with God's desires for me. Yes, I think He is fine with us letting off a little steam every now and again... but I also think He desires us to have those conversations with HIM. And, I feel like by taking it to Him, it's not this mountain in front of me that it has felt like... it is simply life. But with Him, life isn't so difficult.

Another moral of this story is that I had a PHENOMENAL weekend (so far... it's Sunday morning). Getting "away" was the perfect, perfect, perfectest idea ever. We went swimming, ate really good food, watched as much of the Food Network as our check out time allowed and talked. Tim = good man for putting up with me this last week(s)...

PS: I had this Applewood Chicken at the hotel... it's a stuffed chicken breast with Applewood Smoked Bacon and mozzarella, served with whipped garlic potatoes and fresh grilled vegetables. RIDICULOUS good.

PSS: I would LOVE to be putting up pictures here folks... but I need a digital camera - so, if any of you are talking to my parents anytime soon - let them in on that idea as a Christmas gift, OK :) Haha...

posted by Erica @ 8:07 a.m.

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