| Monday, May 15, 2006 |
| My Name is Erica and I'll be Helping you out today! |
That is what I am supposed to say in Step 2 of the "Big Four" at the Red Claw... so today was day TWO of training for my serving career... what do I think? Well, I have a headache (big shocker there...) my feet are el-ranko, and I think my wrist might shrivel up and fall off my body - leaving me with a floating hand. Actually, maybe the hand will burn off too cuz I touched too many freaking hot plates today... who knows really. Anyway, the short end of it all is that I absolutely loved my day, felt a little craaaazzzyyy every once in a while, and tomorrow I am on my own. But all in all, it was basically awesome...
Seriously; the training at these places leaves you feeling like you've been shoved through a blender and spit out. Alas; if I come home crying tomorrow it won't be a shocker because I cry all the time; about anything. Cheque bounces; cry. Home alone on a Friday night; cry. Ice cream gives you brain freeze; cry. Just kidding about the third one. But here's the thing people. I am learning about honesty. People often tell me I am already rather honest, but I wonder if it's possible for me to become even more honest. (Of course it is!) I am learning about this is the following ways; the other day a server got mad at me while I was hostessing (hostessing is the bane of my existence: BANNNEEEEE). For doing nothing - NOTHING - other than telling/asking her to pick up (serve) a table. Like, she was really angry with me; swearing, avoiding eye contact type angry. I in turn usually apologize a million times and become meek and try to win them over to my side by doing things exactly as they want them done. However, the other day I reached the brink of my patience and responded back in a way that would blow the socks off of everybody I ever went to Bethany with; or perhaps even normal, nice people. And you know, she took it - she listened to my response, and then apologized and now kinda has this weird respect thing going on. Would I talk to someone in church like I spoke to her? Heck no, however in the situation and considering the person, I think it was appropriate. It was honest. It was what I felt. Today I was worried I was bunking things up; so I asked and got an honest response. Joanne (my trainer) threatened me with a sharp kick to the ankles if I called customers "guys" one more time. It was an honest response; what she felt.
Sometimes as I lie in bed crying or thinking or "praying" I wonder if God is annoyed at me, or if He wants me to just get over it or stop whining. But then I think; would He rather I put on a fake smile for the world or that I was myself best I know how to be right now? I figure the latter works with Him. I wish I could say I am in some "Holy Place" where I am docile and serene before Him, but I'm not and I'm learning that it is OK... and it is OK to be real with people too; friends and family alike who read this; consider this an invitation - let's put aside the falseness that so often covers our lives and let's be real with one another - talk about what upsets you; be honest when someone has hurt you, laugh when you feel it in your belly and love like today will be the last day you get to love that person.
Carpe Diem. Booyeah! |
posted by Erica @ 1:53 p.m.  |
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| 4 Comments: |
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my sweet sweet erica how i miss you. i am glad that you feel so free to be honest enough on your blog to tell everyone what is really going on in your life.
love you lots
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I really enjoyed looking at your site, I found it very helpful indeed, keep up the good work.
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Carpe Diem. Wow, you know what it does to me when you speak latin. I always want to use a word like 'carpe diem' but my spelling is horrid. So I don't ... hmmmm
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Carpe Diem. Wow, you know what it does to me when you speak latin. I always want to use a word like 'carpe diem' but my spelling is horrid. So I don't ... hmmmm
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Name: Erica
Home: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
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The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.
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my sweet sweet erica how i miss you. i am glad that you feel so free to be honest enough on your blog to tell everyone what is really going on in your life.
love you lots